Yikes! My Child WON?T Share! What Do I Do?
Years ago my husband and I attended a parenting class and one thing that stands out in my mind from that course was something very simplistic that the trainer said. He asked the question, "If your kid doesn't like broccoli, what should you do?"
I thought for a minute while he paused and the first thought that came to me was, do my kids even like broccoli? Hmmmmm.
Then in a loud voice the trainer enthusiastically said, "You should feed him MORE broccoli, that's what!"The reason this lesson stands out in my mind so clearly years later is because I have used it over and over in making my parenting decisions. I have gone back and pondered it again and again. Why? This one simple concept has become a principle to me in my parenting skills.
If your child doesn't want to do something, at times, it is appropriate to make him do it. Those of you that know me personally know that I strive to allow my children to make decisions for themselves and at times they make wrong and unwise choices. The goal is to have them learn from those poor choices. I don't believe in forcing them to do things such as eating all of their dinner, wearing their hair a certain way or perhaps wearing shoes they hate. You do have to balance things and encourage your children to grow emotionally and behaviorally to become good citizens. You do that by exposing them and influencing them to attempt new things that they may not want to do. In other words, there are always things in life that we must do, even if we don't want to. We have to go to work. We have to go to school. We have to obey the laws of the land.
Now, lets apply this to getting your children to share with others. If you have a child that will not share their toys and you indulge that behavior by allowing it, well, subliminally, you are telling the child that you agree with him and he really doesn't have to share his toys. Sharing is something that a child must be taught. There is a healthy way to teach your child to share and you might be surprised to know that I don't think you should always make your child share with others. There is a step-by-step process that you can follow to get your child to share.
The first step is awareness.
Are you aware of what is going on with your child's playmates? As the adult, make yourself aware of what is going on when playmates come around. Listen to them playing. Your child may not want to share for fear of losing a favorite toy or for fear that his favorite toy will get broken or scribbled on. Pay attention and see if your child has a friend that is too wild with toys and often breaks them, or maybe a playmate tends to "accidentally" take things home with him and not bring them back, or maybe they even have a tendency to color on toys? If this is the case, then you shouldn't make your child share with a playmate like that! You may even encourage your child to put his favorite toys up when that particular playmate comes over. Or better yet, reevaluate who your child is playing with!
The next step would be to think of yourself. If you have an irresponsible friend that borrows your lawn tools and leaves them out in the yard to get ruined, you probably don't want to loan him anything do you? This is usually the same friend that is constantly wanting to borrow many of your items, probably because he ruined his own already, right? Perhaps you have a friend or family member that doesn't return things when they borrow them or maybe they return them damaged, dirty or in poor working condition. Again, who wants to loan something to someone like that? I suspect not you and I know, not me! So don't make your child do that with his items either!
On the other hand, if you have a friend that borrows things and returns them in a timely manner, in the condition in which you leant them, well then you are more likely to "share" your things with this person, right? Explain this concept to your child using simple words. Ask your child if he thinks the playmate takes good care of his or her toys. Talk to them and get them thinking about it. If the playmate is too rough, don't make your child share with him.
The next step is listening. TO YOURSELF! After you have made yourself aware of the playmates behavior, the next thing is to use words that children understand. When an adult uses the word "share" in terms of food, the child sees you rip a cookie in half and give some to someone else. Whoa! Next, you pick up the child's doll and say, I want you to "share" your doll with your friend. Yikes! The kid half expects you to rip the doll's arms off. Adults sometimes don't realize the power of their words on a child. Listen to yourself!
What I would suggest is for you to use the word "share" only when you are dealing with food because that is really what you are asking your child to do, give a little of what they have to someone else.
When you are dealing with toys and objects you might say, "Let's allow your friend have a turn playing with your toy now, okay?". This is more understandable to the child and they will not envision you ripping their toy in half.
After saying everything just right, you may still find that you have a child that won't share or take turns! What then? Well, that is when I go back to the phrase, "If they don't like broccoli, feed them more broccoli!" In other words, MAKE them share. How can you make them? Simple, you can do this by saying, "You must take turns with your toys and if you don't, mommy or daddy will take the toy and put it away from you until you decide to give others a turn playing with it." I know, you are thinking, wow, that is tough, right? Yup, anything that your child is so attached to that they won't allow anyone else near it, is too much of an attachment. It is an attitude of total selfishness and you need to discourage it.
You don't need to torture the child and keep threatening to take the toy. (Click the link in this newsletter to read about threatening repeating). Just like the Nike commercial says. Just do it! Do it very logically and calmly after telling the child ONE time only. If the child has a fit and asks where the toys is, explain to them that it is safe and that you have put it away until they were willing to allow others a turn. Do not give in, no matter what! When the child agrees to allow others a turn, give the item back to him. Empower your child with control of the timeframe in which he gets the item back. Each child is different and one child might decide to share immediately and another child will decide to take turns only after a week.
My final words to you are this, remember, being a parent is challenging work! Stay focused on your parenting plan, turn on the creative portion of your brain and then? OUTSMART THE LITTLE BOOGERS! It is the only way!
A New Baby can be Expensive!
A new baby brings a lot of joy and hope to a family. It also brings some uncertainty. You may be concerned that your home is too small, or that you need a larger car, among others. Whether you are expecting your first or your fifth child, chances are that you need baby gear! There are hundreds of different items that you need when the baby arrives, and it is important to remember that stocking up doesn't mean you have to clean out the bank account. If you do a little bit of research beforehand, you can get everything that you need at a fraction of the retail price. My favorite money saving tool is the e-coupon. You can sign up for e-coupons at a variety of different retailers, and start savings instantly.
Baby Eating Habits ? Which Approach Do You Take
One of the first decisions we make is if we breast feed or bottle feed our baby. This will be an emotional topic which ever option you choose. Nutrition is not just about preparing and serving food its much more complex and our own childhood experiences will have a great influence on this. Most parents will feel that the more their child eats the better. They feel that this is a reflection on their parenting and the more the child eats the more successful the parent. A child whose diet consists of dry cereal and juice will leave their parent feeling frustrated and embaressed, these emotions will not go unnoticed by the child and will have a knock on effect. In the case of a faddy eater this may cause the situation to get worse.
Jogging Strollers?How to Get Back in Shape!
Add a little extra push and a jogging stroller to your exercise regime and you'll be back in top condition in no time! As well as single seat, many companies also offer double and triple seat models that are great for twins or toddlers. Jogging strollers come in a wide range of prices depending on the brand and the number and types of features of a particular model.
The Colic Baby
When a baby has colic, the family environment is stressful and many family members may become upset or on edge. This is most often seen in new parents. Some symptoms of colic may be that the baby cries loudly for three hours, the baby has bowel pains or the baby pulls their feet up under themselves and clenches their fists. New parents become alarmed and upset that their new baby may cry for hours, even though they have tried just about everything to comfort the the baby.
Baby Boy Clip Art to liven up your Baby Shower Cards
Loads of baby boy clip art images are available, once you click your computer's mouse and get connected to the Internet. First, you must know what clip art is all about. Clip art is about copying / cutting the pre-existing images. Yes, these images are already mostly in the books that have made their entry into the public domain for that purpose.
14 Steps To Reducing Your Infants Reflux
Many of the things listed below will help with your baby's discomfort and spitting up, eliminating the need for medication.
When To Move From Carseat To Booster
Under three, use a car seat. The guidelines for transporting infants and toddlers are deeply embedded in parental mantras. It gets a little fuzzy though when your youngster hits hyper-drive and grows out of his front-facing car seat. Today, less than 10% of children ages 4 ? 8 use a booster seat when riding in cars. National traffic and safety organizations have confirmed that your child needs to be restrained appropriately when riding in a car. This means supplementing the standard adult-sized seat belts with additional equipment to keep your child safe.The child restraint system you use changes as your child grows. You started with the rear-facing infant seat, then graduated to the front-facing car seat after your child was one year old. Some state laws only require a car seat up to the age of three and parents may assume their child is safe in just a seat belt, but this is not the case.When your child outgrows his front-facing car seat, he is still not big enough to fit properly in an adult seat belt. To keep him safely restrained, you will need to use a belt positioning booster seat. Any child who cannot sit with his back straight against the seat back and have his knees bend over the seat edge is not big enough to be restrained with just an adult safety belt.There are two types of booster seats available:No-Back Belt-Positioning Booster Seats. These seats are used with a lap/shoulder belt and are for use in vehicles with built-in head restraints.High-Back Belt-Positioning Boost Seats. These seats provide head and neck support for your child if your vehicle seat back does not have a head restraint.When a booster seat is not used, the lap and shoulder belts end up being positioned in dangerous areas on a young child and may cause serious or fatal injuries in the event of a crash.A booster seat lifts your child up so the seat belt fits right and protects your child. The lap belt should fit low across the hip area. The shoulder belt should cross his chest and rest snugly on the shoulder. Your child's ears should not be higher than the seat back cushion or the back of a high-back booster seat model.Important things to remember about using booster seats:Always use both the lap and shoulder belt.Do not tuck the shoulder belt behind your child's back or under his arm. He could be seriously hurt if you are in an accident.Replace a booster seat that has been in an accident. It may have defects that you cannot see.Have your child safety seats inspected by a certified child safety seat technician in your community. You can contact your local police or fire department or call the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's toll-free hotline at 1-888-DASH-2-DOT.
How to Make a Lovely Baby Shower Cake
Baby shower cakes are terrific centerpieces for showers. Guests always laugh when they see one and the expectant mom is thrilled to receive a very useful gift. They're also called diaper cakes because diapers are the main ingredient. It is quite easy to make one. Check out the detailed instructions below.
Baby Gift Baskets ? A Personalized Way to Show How Much You Care
When baby showers abound what can you give to that new mom that will be a unique gift for baby? The choices for baby and infant gift ideas are considerable but one of the best baby gifts that you can give is a gift basket. A gift basket is one present that comes in many varieties, themes and price ranges and can offer great baby shower ideas when it comes to unique baby shower gifts. A vast selection of baskets exists not only for baby and mom but there are even gift baskets for dads, siblings and specific baby shower themes.
Baby Stroller and Pushchairs - Out and About
Having a family day out is not exactly stress free, but with some of the new Buggies on the market you can make it a more enjoyable experience for all involved. I am going to introduce you to three of the top buggies on the market at the moment. These are products from The Hauck group, Zapp and Maclaren, with these stylish pushchairs you will be venturing outside more and more.
Potty Training At Daycare and Preschool
With 61% of children between the ages of birth and 6 years in daycare, it's important that parents work closely with their child's care provider while potty training. When you child is ready for potty training, the right potty training guidance and supplies can make all the difference.
The Personality Traits Of An Aries Baby
Your Aries Baby..
Baby Cold Symptoms and How to Treat Them
Remember how miserable you felt when you last had a cold? Can you imagine what your baby must feel when he experiences a cold for the first time?
The Personality Traits of a Pisces Baby
Your Pisces Baby..
The Truth About Baby Bedding
Imagine your little baby in her nursery. So happy in the colorful new home you have prepared for her. Watching the Mobile. Lying down comfortably in her crib.Comfortably in her crib. That depends on the bedding sets you use. Babies have very delicate skin. A baby's skin is so much thinner than adult skin. Some babies are very sensitive to their surroundings.The first thing you have to take into consideration when it comes to baby bedding, is comfort. Will the fabric make baby's skin itch?Ideally, the best fabric to use for baby bedding is cotton. Preferably 100% cotton sheets in summer, soft warm flannel for winter. Wool may be itchy but that depends on the baby.Next, because babies have such sensitive skin, you must keep the crib bedding clean and dry. Babies urine and pass motion frequently in their clothes. If their nappies leak, the bedding gets stained. Disposable diapers are way more convenient as compare to cloth nappies. With cloth nappies, the nappies leak every time the baby urines which can be nightmarish for an exhausted new mother to clean up after. Disposable diapers allow the baby to stay dry after a few rounds of urine, but once baby strains her face and you know she has just moved her bowels, do change her diaper.When baby dirties herself, clean her up right away. Leave her in dirty nappies longer than necessary and she will probably develop a nappy rash. Babies with nappy rash itch, cry a lot and are generally miserable. Keep a tube of diaper rash cream at hand to treat the problem, just in case. You can get these baby products at very affordable prices at Cheapest Sale Baby Products. A vinyl cover over the mattress itself keeps the mattress from getting soaked through. Remember to cover it with clean cotton bedding and to change it whenever it gets dirty. You do not want baby to suffer from skin allergies from dirty bed linen.For safety sake, get baby to sleep face up or on the side. Don't let baby sleep lying on its stomach. A BBC article about cot deaths links cot deaths with the baby sleeping on its stomach. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/520993.stmFinally, since baby is going to spend most of her time in the crib, even while she is awake, give her something to look at. Cotton baby bedding with friendly patterns, little animals, or other interesting pictures keep her occupied, and stimulate her mind. Plain white crib bedding sets without any patterns are really boring. They do not give baby anything to look at. To make matters worse, plain sheets show up stains glaringly. Patterned bedding sets are more forgiving in this aspect. Besides, babies would find pattern bedding more interesting.
Babies Born With A Cleft Palate Or Lip
As many as one in 700 babies are born with either a cleft palate or cleft lip. Often these can cause a number of related problems including glue ear, crooked teeth and hearing difficulties. The good news is that almost all babies go on to have successful corrective surgery.
Infant Car Seats
Finding the best car seats for your child:To escape injury in an accident, you will need to pick a seat suitable for the child's age and weight. They come in three main categories: infant, infant & toddler convertible and booster seats. Statistics show that most seats are installed incorrectly. Once you have purchased a seat make sure to follow the directions for proper installation.
Childrens Gift Ideas: Babies, Toddlers, and Beyond
When your time comes to shower a new mom or family with baby gifts, keep in mind that not all gifts are created equally.
Baby Product Recall
Products are recalled all the time for posing a danger to the people who use them. Even large, established companies have to make massive recalls, and when this happens we all notice. Who could have missed the series of Ford recalls for rollovers, defective door latches, and then Ford fires? But for every high profile recall there are hundreds of smaller, less noisy recalls of dangerous products every day. Possibly the most concerning of these are recalls of baby products. Your baby cannot tell you if he notices a problem with his high chair, and if you do not stay on top of recall notices you could be putting your baby in danger.
Hello World: Babys Third Month Guide
Remember how you wished your baby would learn there is moreto life than crying, feeding and sleeping? Your wishes arecoming true. Your baby's third month will see her becomemuch more interactive. So much so with some babies, thatparents secretly sigh, "Why doesn't she ever sleep?" Wonderwhat to expect in the third month?